“The mentorship in OBGYN is huge.
We have to depend on each other; we cannot do this alone.”
The following story extract is from a conversation with an OBGYN mentor and mentee.
Mentee: The dwindling numbers eat at me. After October, I am the oldest member of our practice. Who are we going to talk to? That's part of the sadness of it.
I have a fairly strong plan B. I've always been involved with Indian Health Services. I have privileges that she signed off on for me. Privacy is in Montana's constitution. I would probably go do a locums thing in Browning.
Mentor: I had the freedom that my kids were already in college. That wasn't a complicated decision. The complicating factor is just me and my husband. Fighting is important. Standing up for what’s right matters. Having your daughters see that human rights don’t come easy—that really matters. It’s just so depressing.
Mentee: My daughter was telling someone today, “My mom loves delivering babies. She loves it so much that she has all these meetings to talk about being able to keep doing it.”
It feels good to have a word for the feeling of moral distress—name it to tame it. When I feel myself getting distressed, I have to take care of myself: run more, sleep more, share more. I’m so grateful for my group. I can’t imagine going through this with people I didn’t like. That would be hell.
We’re all grieving in different ways. I could go through each person in our group and tell you their coping strategies—whether it’s working more, buying a crazy-looking car, whatever. It’s mental health.
Mentor: I was just so angry, and I don’t like being angry. I’m conflict-averse. I work better in small groups. I feel stronger when I’m working on a cause I can grow. When I worked for the homeless shelter and with the sexual abuse program, that felt good. There was movement, there was a path. I just couldn’t see one on this.
Leaving Idaho was like a huge weight was lifted off.
Mentee: I was jealous.
Mentor: Pregnancy is really complicated. Most of the time when it’s good, it’s good. But when it’s bad, it’s really bad. I don’t think people understand how hard and complicated pregnancy can be.
